Without Further Ado...

Please join us in welcoming our newest family addition Xiang Xuan!

His name is pronounced Shee-ong Shwan, said all together, but he's probably affectionately called Shwan Shwan or She She. I don't know yet what the nannies call him. As for us, we are still working on a name, so stay tuned for an update very soon for his new name!


A few facts on Xiang Xuan:


He is in the town of Wenzhou (Win-joe) in the province of Zhejiang (still working on this pronunciation...when I asked, I got 7 different answers...if anyone reading this knows for sure, please leave a comment.) Zhejiang is in southeastern China, just south of Shanghai.


He will be 14 months old tomorrow! It is estimated that he was born on March 28th, 2006. Since it's a fairly random day, I'm thinking that there is either some kind of significance to that day, or he was left with a birth note.


We have requested an update on all of his measurements and we're crossing our fingers that a new picture will come with it. We were also blessed with an amazing offer from someone in one of my Yahoo groups, who will be at his orphanage this week and is going to try to get some pictures of him for us. The generosity I've received from complete strangers sharing the same experiences and feelings recently has been amazing and honestly has made me cry a few times. There really are good people left in the world!


Most people who are familiar with our adoption adventure know that we started our path planning to adopt a son with special needs. In China, the majority of the abandoned children are girls, but there are also a lot of boys abandoned because of various special needs, many of them easily manageable by "Western" standards. We half expected our son to have a cleft lip/palate since it is very common in Asian boys, but we were surprised with a file on a boy born with a condition called Microtia . Essentially, it means that he was born with one ear that didn't form completely.


I did TONS...and I do mean tons...of research on Microtia, and found quickly that not only is it extremely manageable, but reconstruction of the ear is a fascinating and progressively advancing science. There is a good probability that he can hear out of that ear, although we won't know the status of his inner ear anatomy until he arrives home. We do know that he can hear out of the other ear and seems to respond well to his caretakers.


We gave his file to an International Adoption Pediatrician (Dr. Davies at UW Adoption Medicine) who gave us some tips on things to request for an update, but otherwise felt that he looks very healthy and well cared for. It's not very often you see babies this chubby in an orphanage setting! We talked about it for a couple of days and then filed our paperwork to request Xiang Xuan to be our son. It is a little over a week later and we've been approved already!


So now, we begin sharing his picture with our family and friends. The next few months will be a whirlwind of shopping panic as we try to get his room ready in time. Chances are, we'll be travelling in September or October, so for the first time in my life, I can't wait for summer to be over!


Thanks to everyone for bearing with us through this process!

My Mother's Baby

Going hand in hand with last week's "My Mom" theme, Donna at Double Happiness themed this week's Family FotoFun Friday challenge "My Baby Photo". I thought I would post one for Shawn and one for me.

He came into the world a normal term/normal sized little boy, but a near carbon copy of his current 37 year self, only a little more hair then than now. Me? Well I couldn't be normal then and I'm still not now. I was almost 3 months early (Like Donna) and weighed in at barely 3 pounds at birth and was only minutes old when I took my first helicopter ride. I wasn't supposed to make it, but I did, but for a few scratches and dents. I thought I would spare everyone my incubator pictures.

Without checking with our moms, I had to guess on our baby ages in these pictures. I think I'm about 8 months and Shawn is about 18 months.

Who Is Your Mom?

This year was one of the first times in my life I ever thought about Mother's Day as more than just a day to for my mom and mother-in-law. This time next year, I'll be celebrated, too (note to self: send reminder to Shawn's calendar for next year).

I actually don't have a single Mother's Day memory before I graduated High School... How must my mom have felt when that Sunday in May came and went every year with no pampering, no shopping spree... maybe a card or two, but if you've ever met my brother and sister, you'd know it couldn't have been much more than that. I feel like I really appreciated my mom, but except for the obligitory macaroni and elmer's glue potholder, I feel like she got the short end of the proverbial motherhood stick.

When we started our adoption journey, I started thinking more about what being a mom really means. It clearly was going to be part of my new job role and I began to realize that my mom did more than just make dinner.

So, here's just a little about my mom and why for her, Mother's Day should be more than just once a year:

My mom became a first time mother at the ripe old age of 17. She gave birth to my brother, Rex on his due date and he was a huge baby...Probably way more than her tiny 5 foot 2 inch frame could handle. I think he might have been born with size 12 feet, I'm not quite sure. Just over a year later, my sister Julie came along, and was a doll of a baby girl (for a short time...she soon morphed into an ulcer inducing ball of fire). My parents were living the American Dream!

Several years and some unsuccessful pregnancies later, I came along...a little early and not doing so well. Needless to say, I came with some baggage...and undercooked insides. I was airlifted to Children's Hospital in Seattle and took up long term residence in an incubator without much hope for survival. I remember my mom telling me about how she overheard nurses saying that she shouldn't bother naming me because I probably wouldn't make it through the night. How hard must that have been on a mother? Well, she named me anyway...damn it. And today, I'm by far the tallest girl in our family, and although I'm still a little undercooked, I'm healthy and not anywhere near my deathbed...and as much as those NICU nurses wanted to believe there was no chance for me, my mom refused to accept it. When no one else thought so, my parents thought I was worth the effort...all scrawny 3 pounds of me. I've even managed to gain a few pounds since then.

One of my fondest memories growing up was my mom participating in my school's Read & Lead program with me. I was one of my school's top readers, thanks to my mom's encouragement to love reading. Thanks to her, my brother and I are huge readers and I truly think it's one of my most valuable habits and one that I will pass on to my son. She also taught me to love puzzles and scary movies...OK, so I don't thank her so much for that one. I'm scared of the dark and even just last night thought for sure someone was hiding under the bed.

More things my mom taught me to love? Cooking, travel (even when she spent decades doing less of it than she deserved), warm weather (I grew up hating Washington's weather...still do!), Johnny Carson, and "1/2 off the already reduced price" sales. Even when I have a handful of Macy's gift cards, I still make a beeline for the sale rack... The "What Not to Wear" people would hate me! Well, I don't want to volunteer too much more of my mom's life. I forgot to have her sign responsibility waivers.

Yesterday, my parents came to our house to celebrate Mother's Day. We kept it simple with a bunch of food and a few gifts. We took Polli for a walk around the block and ate strawberry shortcake (with a horrible whipped cream failure). The picture to the right above is my mom & I in my living room with my 30 pound baby. She looks so big there! (The dog, not my mom!) Anyway, hopefully next year, we'll be celebrating as grandma and mom... and hopefully at a Half Off sale!

Thanks for years of great memories, mom! Through the good and the bad, you're a real inspiration to the mom I want to be. I hope I make you proud.

To Trish, my Mother In Law: I didn't forget you. You deserve your own special entry. I'll be sure to give you your moment in the sun one day soon!

The Demise of an Old Friend

I am sad to report that this evening, one of my closest and dearest friends met his maker. Yes, Spongebob Squarepants has gone on to the great "Pineapple Under the Sea" in the sky.

My Spongebob obsession extends from the floormats and license plate frame in my car to a shrine in my cubicle at work. I love the porous yellow guy. He's not only positive about absolutely everything, but he has a good work ethic, is an excellent housekeeper, and also finds the good in everyone including his negative neighbor Squidward and villain Krusty Krab rival, Plankton. Besides, who can't find a place in their heart for a guy with a meowing snail for a pet?

So, every once in a while, I would use my Spongebob pillow as a prop to try to get Polli used to me holding something other than her in my lap. It never ended pretty. The pictures below are what ensued shortly after I tried this experiment tonight. Polli loves anything with stuffing and once she gets it started, she abandons it and takes a nap. Not once has she eaten fluff... It's all in the journey, I guess! She has never gotten to Spongebob's stuffing after a year and a half of trying until now. Another testiment to SB's unfailing optimism in the face of doom and absurdity.

I'm hanging onto hope that Polli won't think a human child is full of stuffing. She doesn't attempt it with Gonzo, our parrot, so I have a feeling we'll be OK by the time our child comes home. On our last 2 trips to the dog park, she didn't jump on a single toddler. I have never been prouder of her. My girl is growing up.

So goodbye spongy buddy! I'll never forget you!

Another Video- Youth Volunteers in Xi'an SWI (Orphanage)

I stole this from The Adventures of Chou Chou Shu, but it hit home because this is exactly what I wanted to do coming out of high school and never did...It's one of the things I'll regret not doing for the rest of my life. When our kids are teenagers, this is the kind of thing I'll highly encourage they do. It's about 10 minutes long, but really worth the time to view. It shows detail of the SWI, the surrounding culture, and the sites of Beijing and Xi'an.

Another Milestone! LID! (and other ramblings)

For those not familiar with the adoption acronyms, I've tried to bold each below to better guide you through what some of us in the China Adoption community know as common everyday language.

Yesterday, we received the email that we are officially LID as of 4/6/07! LID stands for Log In Date: the date that the Chinese government division for adoption (CCAA- China Center for Adoption Affairs) processes our Dossier: compilation of paperwork required by agency and CCAA to request permission to adopt a Chinese orphan, and enters it into their system. We are now officially "in line" in the eyes of the Chinese Government. At this point, we are technically just another dossier in a big stack (click here to see the stacks of dossiers), but our agency attached a letter stating that we are planning to consider a SN: Special needs or WC: waiting child. The way they explained it, this puts our dossier in a different "stack" so it will be easy to find for review when we send in …get ready for it… our LOI.

LOI stands for Letter of Intent. It is basically a letter asking for their permission to adopt a specific WC or SN child. Because we will need to be specific in how we describe our intentions for future care of certain needs, possibly referencing his birth province or characteristics, medical statistics, etc., we need to wait to write it until we make our final decision. I already have a draft going. The core of our intent will be the same regardless of the child or his extenuating circumstances (I almost typed circumcisions just then J… another topic discussed often among those adopting boys from China..."to snip or not to snip").

I've received a number of questions recently about why we are logging in traditionally before considering a waiting child. One person went so far as to tell me in a private message that I was doing it wrong and would only get rejected later. The nerve! Typically processing the dossier first occurs when a family is either asking CCAA to choose a SN child for them (expedited dossier… for another post maybe) or if they start out on the regular route toward a "healthy" child and decide to switch to SN later.

Often, those going the SN/WC routes from the beginning find their child on a list, sign with that agency, then send in their LOI…THEN go through the paperchase toward LID. The reason is simply that we wanted to make sure my medical iffys wouldn't put us in a bind if we didn't make the May 1 deadline. For the longest time, it was really unsure how China would handle the new rules, how strict they would be on some medical and criminal things, and whether they would require LID by May 1 or simply at time of DTC: Dossier to China (when it's officially mailed from the agency). We simply didn't want to find our son, fall in love, and then have something happen late in the paperwork process. It would be too much to handle, so we decided to get the paper related niceties out of the way first and then begin focusing on the little faces…every one of them with a valid reason to be our child… which one… which one… This is the part I hate to love. This ugly feeling of "shopping", yet enjoying reading their backstory. Wondering what their life is like. What it would have been like if they weren't abandoned. Wondering how the mother felt as she set the box down in the middle of the night, peeked in one last time to pin a note, then ran, knowing she would never see her son again, but also knowing she couldn't keep him. Couldn't afford to have his lip repaired or his hand mended. Every time I see those pictures, I imagine how she must have felt. It's just a story I tell myself, but I imagine it must be true at least some of the time. And this is how life goes. It's the scary reality of the world that was never taught in school. I always considered myself smart and even worldly (despite not holding a passport until after 30), however I never even knew about the 1 child law in China until I started researching countries for adoption.

So on a more upbeat note, the call about our LID was a great milestone for sure. It's something everyone in process sits on pins and needles waiting for. For those going the regular NSN: Non Special Needs route, that date represents Day 1 of their wait. When people talk about it taking 'X' months (right now it's sitting at about 24 and rising…hopefully going back down sooner than later), it means that many months from Log In Date….go ahead and forget about the 6 months it took you to get there. That time is dead and gone (did I say upbeat?). For us, it is more or less a milestone plain and simple, but in the scheme of things, it still matters a great deal.

Hopefully we won't be too far off from having access to new non-published Special Needs profiles. Our agency is expecting them any time now and once they are translated, we are high on the list to review them before they go public on their website and newsletter. We're hoping that in the next 30 days or so we'll have sent in our LOI and wringing our hands for our PA: Prior or Parental Approval: CCAA reviews the LOI and dossier and issues official permission to adopt said child. At that point, we'll no longer be parents to one parrot, two "ironman" fish, and a super spoiled French bulldog, but we'll also have a 2 legged variety to brag about! Who whoulda thought?

Special note: I also wanted to tack on a thank you to my husband, who viewed my blog for the first time since October last night. I don't even think he noticed that it's not on MSN Spaces anymore, which he (Microsoft guy) stipulated as a requirement. I went to the dark side a long time ago, honey! (p.s. he also found out yesterday that I have NOT been brewing decaf coffee for the last 12 years. He really thought that he was caffeine free all this time until he went on a trip and suffered withdrawls. LOL!)

As a final unrelated note: Sanjaya Malakar was voted off American Idol last night. I couldn't be happier despite the fact that he is from my hometown of Federal Way, Washington. So sorry for the Fanjayas. I was not one of them. He was cute and had a great audition, but he went downhill from there. I'm rooting for Melinda, but I also like Jordin (She's 17!!! )…and I loved Phil's country song. He would win Nashville Star, or whatever that show is…

Cleft Video

This video is SO worth 2 minutes of your time. Pass it on (or a link to this post) to anyone you know who might be thinking about considering a "special needs" child.

These little ones would never stand half a chance in China as is, but the resources are so readily available here...or there through organizations like Love Without Boundaries.

The Curse of the Black Cat!

An online conversation yesterday posed the question "Are you superstitious?" Not really. I have a few idiosyncrasies from my past related to sports, but nothing shocking. I was a huge horror movie fan growing up and, except for being almost 34 and deathly afraid of the dark, I have come away from an obsession with scary stuff relatively unscathed. It did become apparent in the discussion that I'm OCD, but thankfully, I'm not the only one. Of the replies, almost all of us has an issue of some kind with silverware. That in and of itself is pretty weird, I think. A law of averages would point toward eating utensils being the foundation for many a counseling session.

Anyway, the reason I feel the need to write about this is because Friday the 13th reared it's ugly head yesterday, and not in a "Jason" kind of way. Here's the story. Try to follow along:

Shawn came home from a trip to Chicago yesterday (he spotted Jim Belushi in a restaurant, btw) and upon walking in the door from the airport, he dropped his bags and said he was starving and wanted to go to dinner. He wanted to drive and I didn't plan to drink, so I left my purse, keys, etc. on the table and we left. At the end of our street, a cat ran out in front of our car. I said "Hey look, a black cat & it's Friday the 13th! Freaky, huh?" We laughed and continued to dinner.

After dinner, we started home and he suddenly got quiet and said "Did you bring your keys?". NO, why? "Because I always take my house key off my key chain when I travel". Crap! "Do you have your cell phone?" NO. YOU? "No. They're on the kitchen table." Fudge! IT WAS THE BLACK CAT! WE WERE CURSED!

Also, our hidden key in the yard was mysteriously missing. That's pretty freaky, too. Basically, we had to go to the grocery store up the street and borrow a total stranger's cell phone (we live in a small community with no pay phones) and call my in laws who are the only ones with a spare key....At least they thought it might be our spare key. OMG! Without any other option without a $200 price tag, we drove a half hour to meet them halfway to get the key. We had a prayer circle around our Chai tea lattes and carrot cake with the Starbucks girls in hopes that it was the right one. There was a strong chance that it was actually a key to our old apartment or belonging to another sibling...or nobody's key...just another trick played by the black cat.

As our truck inched back home, we were facing the likelihood that we would have to break a window. No locksmith would be coming to our area that late on a Friday. If I stand on Shawn's shoulders, can I try to open the bathroom window on the 2nd floor without falling and breaking my neck? He was completely ready to take that chance to save the money of a replacement window, although he decided that this would be a great time to comment that I probably wouldn't fit through the window... Umm. So, I've seen him for just a few days in the past 2 weeks. This was probably not going to win him "quality time" with me later, ya think?

Long story, but I now have a new superstition. Black cats...and I'm also pretty sure that the boogie man has our hide-a-key now.

Family Foto Fun Friday "Pets"

Donna over at Double Happiness always has great FFFF (Family Foto Fun Friday) contests. I've never participated because, well, our child isn't home yet. But this week, the topic is "Pets". I couldn't resist.

Polli is the French Bulldog half of "The Boy and the Bulldog". She has been home with us since December of 2005. After 2 years of researching dog breeds, we decided on a Bat Dog for sure. When we saw her picture, we loved her unique coloring and white paw. She had unusually floppy ears for a frenchie, and many untrained eyes assume she is part pug (Polli hates it when people say that to her...what an insult!). Nothing against pugs, but she just isn't remotely related, thank you very much!

The first picture below is her "referral photo" if we were to commission a sketch. The second picture is from her "Gotcha Day Anniversary".

Such a pretty baby!

Stuff I Won't Be Able to Do Once I'm a Mom

First, a note... this obviously isn't me, but I love this picture and no, I won't be
able to do this once I'm a mom... but I will be Wonder Woman!

Read a book a week. On second thought, I probably won't get in an article a week unless it's about sleep strategies or how to clean up regurgitated split peas.

Sleep in. Ever. Ever again. For as long as I live. Goodbye pillow. I'll miss you.

Leisurely walks with my dog. OK, so they aren't so leisurely. She pretty much drags me from shrub to shrub. Yes, we must sniff every leaf or else.

Dinner out whenever we want. Every night if we want to, and yes, I'll have another martini, thank you.

Friday night at the movies. With no notice. 7:10 showing? Nah, let's do the 11:15! Who cares if we're home after 1 am?!?

Let the dog have bad manners. Why isn't it OK to let her beg at the table, jump on us, wrestle with our hands or refuse to drop her toys ( or our laundry, or q-tips, or our parrot ).

Cry for no reason. Aren't moms strong, brave, impenetrable fortresses who can endure any amount of sleepless nights while keeping food on the table, holding down a full time job ( plus one ), and somehow finding time to bathe?

Love Affair with TIVO. No more hours of Lost with no break. No marathons of CSI or Crossing Jordan. Sigh. Does this mean I have to give up Spongebob? No? Thank God!

Unlimited Reality TV. Who says I can't fit in a child, dog, bird, husband, house, job, family, friends, chores, errands AND Survivor, Amazing Race, Top Chef, Project Runway, Apprentice, Clean Sweep, Trading Spaces, Deal or No Deal, and American Idol?

Cookies for Dinner. While I do a pretty good job of eating healthy, my dear husband isn't as disciplined. If he wants cookies, or chips, or nothing, that's pretty much what he has. And it's not like I'm going to cook for just myself. That's crazy talk.

Swearing. Moms say things like Darn it, Oh my Goodness, heck, etc. My dad was a trucker and we share a lot of characteristics, so maybe I just naturally have a trucker mouth.

Speeding. I've already curbed this habit. Something maternal must be happening. I thought about getting a sign that read: "Paperwork on Board", but it might cause confusion based lane wandering, thus creating an even bigger safety hazard.

Obscenely priced jeans. I have so many pairs of jeans that they are stacked in 2 piles on my closet floor . . . Only 2 pair were over $100, but still. Who do I think I am, JLO?

. . . There are many more! I thought of about 10 more while proofreading. I'll have to do it again later in the wait.

Next time, I'll itemize the things that I WILL be able to do once I become a mom. That should be interesting.

I have to run . . . My Wednesday Reality TV is starting!