Monday, April 6, 2009

Why I Blog... and Remembering Our Log In Date

Opening note:

I wanted to acknowledge the comments left on my last post. I am fine with negative feedback. Why? Because I know this is a public blog and by airing our family laundry in such an open way exposes us to opinions of all kinds. Why is my blog public? Because blogs are what educated me most realistically during our entire process to Ian. I want to be that resource for other families. This blog is not intended to ever be a "Working Mom Anthology". I respect and enjoy the perspective of parenting from both sides. I have many Stay at Home friends. I have many who work. They all have awesome kids with amazing relationships. What we all have in common is that we ***LOVE THEM*** It's each family's choice and right to do what they need to do for their family's health, happiness, and well being. As long as it's legal, ethical, and brings no harm, it is none of my business...or anyone else's.

I have 3 target demographics for this blog:

1. Family and Friends. This is the easiest way for me to share Ian and Polli's adventures all at once.

2. China families: waiting and home. It's a community with an unspoken understanding of a very trying roller coaster of a process. Those in this group are sometimes the only others who "get it" and I'd die before losing a connection to them.

3. Microtia families and those learning about it. When reviewing Ian's file, these families and their stories are 100% why we moved forward. They were living their lives with Microtia...and surviving, THRIVING. Without them, we might have been like the other 15 families who turned down Ian's file. The thought literally turns my stomach.

So, to anyone not meeting the above criteria, you are not who I blog for. I appreciate your point of view, but in all due respect, it leaves no impact on me or how I feel I parent my son. You must not know me very well to make assumptions about my priorities as a mother, and must not know my son to make assumptions about his attachment and adjustments.

I think I've taken a couple thousand pictures in the past 18 months of a smiling, happy, thriving little boy who would respectfully agree that your harshly expressed opinion is just that... Thank you for respecting our choice to do what we feel is right for him and us.

Back to the original purpose for this post... I wanted to point out quickly that it has been 2 years today since our dossier was logged in, in China. This meant we were officially "in line", and it was this day that we started looking at files of Waiting Children. I had one already that I was just waiting for an LID date to put on hold. Shawn was worried that he was too old (almost 3 at the time) and wanted to think long and hard about changing our minds about age. We watched for the next batch of files to make a definitive decision on what to do. I saw that boy's name later on a "coming home" newsletter, and cried. I was so sure at the time that he was my son. I still have a photo copy of his file and wonder what he looks like now and how he's doing with his forever family.

All I know, is that the timing of things happen for a reason. Another year later and we would have probably been putting our adoption plans on hold due to the economy. A month later and we might have missed out on Ian's file. A month sooner and I might have convinced Shawn to consider the other boy's file.

Things happen for a reason. Whether you're religious or not, I think we all can agree to that.

Here's our post announcing our Log In Date of 4/6/07. My thoughts go out to the families logged in with us for the "non special needs" route. They are still waiting with a long wait still ahead. I can't fathom it and wonder what strength it must take to go on with life as usual with so many years in limbo.

http://theboyandthebulldog.blogspot.com/2007/04/another-milestone-lid.html

4 comments:

  1. Well said!

    Keep on bloggin'!

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  2. We, too, just passed our two-year anniversary of our LID (4-4-07) and even BIGGER, we marked 6 months since Jake has been home!!

    We enjoy reading your blog and other blogs of families who adopted from China. Keep it up.

    Kevin and Violet

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  3. Hi just wanted to say I'm glad you blog. Believe it or not I started reading your blog a long time ago when we were researching China special needs. We ended up in the Korea NSN program and our son is has been home for a while. I actually forgot about your blog for a long time then one day decided to check in. I'm glad you are still here. It is a great resource.Ian is so adorable, and I actually think he resembles my son a little bit! Anyway they definitely have the same jammies. Happy birthday Ian and thanks for blogging.

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  4. Hi - never written in before but felt compelled after the negative comments left on the last post. I found your blog when I was doing a google search for an old friend from childhood who happens to be your sister in-law. Anyway, just wanted to give you koodos for the wonderful family you've greated. I think we as women do each other a major disservise when we start judging each other. There are good and bad points to both sides of the issue and I find anyone who sees things only in black and white as a very angry person. By judging others it only shows the cracks in a person's own life.
    Thanks for your blog! :)
    Bethany

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