So Now What?

So, everyone who I've told about our dossier's departure for China has asked the same thing. "Now what happens?" Wouldn't it be nice if I could provide a nice easy to understand answer complete with a clear cut timeline!?! I would print out flyers and place them on the cars of everyone we know. Unfortunately, we aren't that lucky.

Those people who are in the Non Special Needs program know that within a few month range, they will be waiting for about 22 months if they get their 6 months of paperwork completed and logged into the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) office right now. The waits for NSN are getting longer for many reasons. Probably a good topic for another post. The people getting baby referrals now have been waiting for about 16 months, but those people were also logged in late October 2005, so you can easily see that the waits are getting longer and not shorter. If we were to go the NSN route, we could let people know that we would have a referral of a girl in x age range in approx. 20-24 months, or Winter/Spring of 2009 (people would look at us funny if we said we were asking for a healthy boy…they happen, but chances are better at winning the Powerball jackpot).

To expound upon how extreme those wait times are, a gal posted on a forum recently that she and her husband had a goal to get pregnant before June so that she could have the baby and have a year go by before they get their referral. It is very possible. A bit of a gamble, but possible. How crazy is that?! For those going the NSN route, the wait will be like enduring 2.5 pregnancies. Yuck! I almost can't type that it sounds so horrible.

Well, we're going the Special Needs route, which means it completely changes our timeline. It doesn't have anything to do with the lengthening wait times, but more because we want to be guaranteed a boy and want to adopt from China. On top of that, we became enthralled with what are considered special needs in China. We felt compelled to utilize the resources we have here to bring one of those little guys home and provide the best medical care we can. I don't want it to sound like we're out to "save an orphan". I don't think that it's a healthy outlook to have on building a family. I do indeed feel that his little life will be better and that we are just doing our tiny part to end the struggle that surrounds the population problem in China. I also feel like no child should be subject to the scratch and dent pile. For those of you going for a healthy girl, please don't feel like I'm down playing your journeys to your little girls. That's definitely not the case. We are all on the same path.

So, back to my explanation of what next…

Now we start reviewing waiting child profiles. I have been looking at them for some time now and have requested full files on a few kids. One that I really started falling in love with has been matched with a family. I was so sad, but it's my own fault for getting attached when we weren't ready to officially start considering files yet. Shawn and our social worker warned me against this. I have one other file for a little boy who has been on our agency's waiting list for almost a year now. He will be 3 in August and if we travel sometime in the fall, which will put him a few months older than our target 18-36 month range. Shawn is now saying he thinks that's too old. Yes, the guy who said no babies now thinks 36 months is too old. I keep trying to tell him that a few months won't really matter considering delays, etc. We may wait until our agency gets another batch of special needs files, which should be in the next month. The longer we wait, the longer the delay in travel, but if we find our son in the next 30-60 days, by my math, we should travel sometime between Oct. 1 and Christmas.

Now I'm stuck with this in limbo feeling. I can't really shop since we don't know age, size, etc. We don't know if we'll need a crib or a regular bed, what age range of toys or books will be appropriate, etc. It's a little frustrating. I do REALLY feel now like I'm pseudo-pregnant, but a pregnant woman knows give or take a size how to prepare for the coming child. At least I can still drink wine. If not, I might survive this.

So the long winding road continues. We stopped at the stop sign on Paperchase Avenue, took a left at What Now Boulevard, and continue straight for an undetermined number of miles. If there is anything interesting to see along the way, we'll take pictures and keep you posted.