Ian’s Booked Calendar

Ian has been one busy guy this past week. Last Thursday, we were guest speakers at a class held by our agency for families just getting started in their process. Most had not determined their country program yet, so we were asked to stick to a handful of questions…mostly about the homestudy process, the wait, etc. Hogwash. I was going to talk about the special needs program, what it was like to go from no kids to instant parent of a toddler, and most of all, let Ian wordlessly answer their questions about "can we do this?". Sometimes all it takes is to see the end result of all that fear and hard work in the flesh to make it all "real". He has a great sales pitch…It's called being his charming self.

We did stick to the questions the wanted us to, but we talked quite a bit about what it was like to wait, how we researched, what sites and books we found most helpful, what NOT to get obsessed about in the paperchase and waiting process, and most of all…our experiences with him. The speaker was really going to an extreme about how the child WILL grieve, WILL resist affection, WILL have undiagnosed health issues, etc. While I know it's important to prepare the families for anything, I also wanted them to know that every child is different and shared that we didn't experience any of those things…so not to let that scare them away from going forward. Shawn talked about the fact that it took him a couple of months for the two of them to "figure each other out", which I think is important for some to hear, who are afraid of not falling in love the second they hand over the child. Shawn's just not an emotional person by nature and it took him a while to figure out how to let that guard down. He did make an intended funny about "wishing I could throw this kid out a window"…but the humor was lost on the agency folks. It really was meant to be a sideways joke about how frustrated he got sometimes, but I do wish he would have used a different analogy.

Despite that, it went well. We were only supposed to take 30 minutes and we were there way over an hour. Ian was charming and friendly, playing with toys on the floor the entire time. We stopped for something to drink on the way home and Ian had his very first Mexi-Fry (Taco Time tater tots). Great. More bad habits!

After an awesome weekend (that you've read about already), he had his "family resource plan" meeting yesterday with our Early Intervention coordinator, Sandy (the one Polli almost knocked out when she came to our house), along with the program director for the speech therapy program we plan to use. They asked us what goals we wanted to set for his therapy, but we really don't know what we don't know…and really wish they would have guided us by explaining what other families typically want to accomplish. Mostly, we just want to know what WE need to do as parents to set Ian up to succeed. Half the time, I think I'm doing the right things when I'm pretty sure I'm not. First time parenting with this many odd dynamics can be a drag, because I don't have a benchmark for which to base my red flags…or my do's and don'ts. I'm sure it will get easier in time.

So, once again, Ian was lovely. He was a little squirrely and didn't want to play with the toys they laid out, but also wasn't interested in their books. Then, he saw the woman's daughter's toothbrush sitting on the counter and he turned. He wanted that thing BAD…and there was no way to effectively explain it away. I wonder now if that was a test to see what tools we use to communicate with him.

Anyway, he was really great in terms of using his speech, and they both commented on how well he is doing in several areas. Since the coordinator saw him last, he has gone from only a few words to dozens. He is also doing great in terms of what he understands. Having only heard English for 6 months, it really is something else that he knows the difference between "bring my shoes" and "bring your shoes". There were also wide eyes that we can hand him something and say "throw away" and he will walk it over to the sink, open the cabinet door, throw it away, close the door, and come back.

At first meeting, she gauged that Ian is at about a development level of a 12 to 14 month old child who has heard English since birth. It will be great to see how adding the structure of play therapy to his routine will help him.

She did say she suspects that he has some Oral Motor issues, which might have something to do with how he annunciates and uses his mouth muscles. She pointed out that he holds his mouth very taught and drools more than the average 2 year old. We've decided to wait until official visits start to investigate that more. I'll be putting my research hat on as soon as I have the free time.

Above and beyond speech, their pencils were scribbling away when he started walking backward. From their reactions, that's a big deal. They should have seen him earlier that morning. He was walking sideways on command.

So his first true Speech Therapy appointment is next Wednesday and will happen at our house every 2 weeks. We have the option to come to their Seattle office for visits and additional play groups, but the schedule for those will be harder to accommodate, so we'll have to wait and see.

In the meantime, Ian has lots on his plate and is doing great as always. He is battling a puffy eye that he rubs endlessly, either from something causing discomfort, or allergies, and a weird rash thing on his chin and above his upper lip, which I'm thinking might be due to too much OJ (which we started giving him to increase his iron absorption…because he was drinking too much milk). Now I'm in this loop of paranoia about what he might be allergic or sensitive to. Sigh.

So, tomorrow is Shawn's birthday. He'll be a big boy finally at 38. Then, Thursday is our 6 month Post Placement visit with our same social worker who approved our homestudy. I won't be going overboard in prep for her visit this time. It will be a miracle if the vacuum cleaner even makes it out of the closet.

I have absolutely no pictures to post from the past few days! To appease those who only visit to see pictures, I've included a few of Ian making friends in China.