Home At Last

We arrived home safe and sound yesterday at 6am sharp...and promptly stood in an almost 2 hour line to get through immigration. Gladly, Seattle was our final destination, but there were several families who wouldn't reach home until late in the day. I couldn't imagine. Worse yet, a man died of complications of diabetes while in Guangzhou finalizing their daughter's adoption. I couldn't even fathom what that family is going through. I don't know what will happen to their process or if she will even get to bring her daughter home, but adjusting to a new child is one thing, grieving over the loss of a spouse at the same time is another story. My heart goes out to them.

I had been pretty sick the last week of the trip and just at the sinus part of whatever I have. This meant for a pretty miserable day in the air for me.

Ian did great on the flight from Guangzhou to Tokyo, helped by the fact that a Doctors Without Borders pediatrician was in front of us and really hit it off great with Ian. He was really surprised that his ear is considered a special need and said that without any tests of course, it appeared to him the Ian might have at least partial hearing from the right side. I'm excited now to finally have some conduction hearing tests done. Anyway, Ian did great with his own seat, but didn't understand the seat belt and why he had to sit on him bottom, so I strapped him in with me until we got to elevation. He ate well, but didn't fall asleep until a few minutes before we landed, of course.

The flight from Tokyo to Seattle was not so easy. First, the flight attendant offered the advice that "you know, if you're going to spend all that money on a seat for a baby, you should bring a car seat on for him". I answered "Do you want to drag a car seat around China for 3 weeks?" I could tell she didn't like that he was taking up an entire seat and was a little whiny from not sleeping on the previous flight. She also gave me a disapproving look when I asked for green tea..."Are you sure that's a good idea?". "Yes, a very good idea". She was making an assumption that I would leave it unattended and it would end up on Ian. I didn't have any makeup on and my nose and eyes were red from my cold, so I'm sure she was wondering how they would let someone so young adopt from China. I had been told a few times while there that I looked to young to meet the regulations. Lucky for me, I guess!

Again, Ian fell asleep right on time... literally 10 seconds before they turned the lights on and announced landing preparations to Sea Tac. I was pretty sure I would be able to get him to nap on time and he would be on his normal China schedule. Boy was I wrong!

Getting him through immigration at Sea Tac took forever. After Ian was unceremoniously welcomed as the newest US Citizen, we were finally off to pick up our bags...which had to go through 2 more security checks, thanks to a big issue with airport security that happened somewhere in the world while we were in China. It was a piece of cake to maneuver airports until we headed back home. Now it's a nightmare in China, Tokyo, and Sea Tac. We were so happy to see my car waiting when the parking shuttle dropped us off!

Besides a new clunking sound in my car that wasn't there when we dropped it off and not able to figure out how to adjust the chest straps on our never used car seat, we were happy as can be.

Shawn went right away to pick up our dog and I had a few hours to acquaint Ian with his room and the rest of his new home. When Shawn arrived home with Polli, things went downhill. He giggled when she ran up and licked his face, but it soon turned to a whiny pant that he does right before he starts crying. It became clear that it would take some time for them to become buddies. He's fine with her as long as she is at arm's reach and not in his face. The problem is that Polli has always had run of the house and now we're telling her don't go here, don't touch that toy....etc. I also have trouble setting Ian down on the floor without Polli seeing her opportunity to say hello. She's getting better, but Ian just doesn't like her much yet. I know given time, they'll be best friends. One day we'll tell him how he was afraid of her, but he'll never believe it to be possible.

He was out of his bath and sniffing his sleeve (his "I'm tired" cue) by 6pm, so we tried putting him down in his crib. It would possibly be the only time in his life he has been in a room alone. I had purchased a Fisher Price Rainforest gizmo that plays soft music and has a cute little rainforest theme of monkeys and fish. It worked great; music really is the trick for him. He cried when I first put him down, but I rubbed his chest and he stared up at the lights/music and within 5 minutes, his eyes were shut for good. He was pretty easy to put down in China, too. Usually 5 to 10 minutes and he would stop crying and zonk.

He has a habit of waking in the night and crying one or two cries and falls back asleep. Last night was no different. He was up for good though, by 1am. I got up with him and we played with quiet toys (not as easy as it sounds) until almost 6am, when he fell asleep on the couch watching Go Diego Go (mental note: the pause between Diego's question and his answer are sleep inducing). I put him back down and he slept until noon, when I woke him intentionally. It was obvious that he will take some time to get over the jet lag.

I had planned to do some errands with him, but I'm so fatigued from lack of sleep and this sinus thing (up to this point one ear had yet to pop), getting myself and Ian ready to go was a real chore. Shawn was out running his own errands, so I was solo. I got Ian through the rain and to the car, but the straps on the car seat still seemed too tight. I got it workable after several minutes and a meltdown from him (I was on the verge of one, too), but when I started my car, the battery was dead. "Someone" left my lights on when we got home from the airport yesterday. Uggh! I was really close to that meltdown. I had mustered the energy to get to the car and I had no more. I really felt like it just has to get easier than this. People do this with kids at home, single, or kids at home and single...and Special Needs...and they still do it.

We're so happy that we adopted. Ian is awesome. I just don't think I could have read more or talked to more people and be 100% prepared for how hard it is in those first days after coming home. I did find myself looking at my dog's sad face when Ian was screaming at the sight of her, and thinking "was life really so bad before?". It sounds horrible, and I know it will get better, but it has been a tough homecoming. For those reading who are still waiting to travel for your kids, don't let this scare you. Ian has a lot of adjusting to do, as will your child. I know this, despite my frustration. I guess I knew the full time happy boy we picked up less than 2 weeks ago would eventually need to let it all out.

As with my last few posts, my story is glazed by the fact that I've been sick, so I know my perspective is a bit skewed. I'm sorry if this comes across as negative or horrible. I promise I'll try to perk up a bit.

On a happier note, I was finally able to get to my comments from while we were in China. Thank you to everyone for your support and well wishes. I wish I could have done a better job with pictures and updates. After we received Ian, our focus changed a bit, as I'm sure you can imagine. Ian had several people recognize him from his blog while we were in Guangzhou. That was pretty cool. I wasn't in much of a mood to socialize with other families, but it was neat to see that he had a fan base, even there. What a rock star!

Once I catch my bearings, I plan to post some more neutral reflection on the trip, what I didn't pack that I wish I had, what we over packed, and some of the " if/when we do it again" stuff. I think there are a lot of things that were either myth on the message boards, glossed over, or given too much weight when other things were never covered at all.

Thanks again and best wishes to everyone preparing to travel. Despite my ramblings, it really is the best trip you'll ever take and a once in a lifetime opportunity to see a part of the world that most never will.

Note: Once I unpack my camera, I'll get some pics of Ian in his room or on his first shopping adventure. This post started at 2am and is publishing at 9:15pm, so I'll sure you can see that we don't have much time for unpacking just yet!